*****Getting settled in has been more difficult than I thought it would be. But the week has been interesting for sure! Coming right up- Week 14 in Review.******
The thing about living in Central or South America so close to the equator is, 1- there are only 12 hours of daylight. Approximately 6-6. So, your body tends to adjust accordingly, and you wake up earlier and go to sleep earlier because it’s been dark for a while. Also- there is the time zone difference. My body thinks it’s 7 pm when it’s only noon, so going to bed early and waking up early is pretty standard too. The second thing is, the sun! I already got a sunburn, while sitting on our awesome patio, in the shade, on a very cloudy rainy day. Yes- the struggle is real! I need to remember that my body has been in Northern Europe for the better part of 2 years and get that sunblock and slather it on!!
I started on Tinder. Figured I would look around and see who was out there. I am talking to a guy named Henry. He is a tattoo artist, musician and helps run his family optometry shop. Busy guy, so we’ll see. We are supposed to try to meet up soon.
Today is the one-year anniversary of when I met Benjamin on-line. Wow. I can’t believe all the changes one year has brought- for both of us. He and I took some time to connect on the phone, and that was great. I even got a chance to chat with Stefan on the phone this evening. It was helpful to hear their voices and feel the love just as I am starting the first full week of this new adventure.
We ordered groceries online. There is the coolest app ever, it delivers ANTHING! You can order a single bottle of wine (not that I would know that for sure or anything…) Our address is apparently a bit complicated. The drama that ensued involved:
- Me, hanging over the edge of the balcony railing in my pajamas making eyes at any moto driver with bags/ sacks or delivery gear on.
- My Colombian friend sending me texts I could send to the driver in Spanish to describe how to get here.
- My roommate running down the stairs and to the street to flag him down while I was jumping up and down calling him from the top. HA!
BUT he finally made it and carried the bags up the two flights on wonky stairs, so I didn’t have to try to do that with my knees. (I am scared to try again, but we need more food soon!)
Just a typical working day. There are a few nice cafes I can go work at, but for now, I am content to stay home and sit out on our balcony/patio when the sun is not shining directly on me. My roommate is someone I don’t know well, but we have gotten along and stayed in touch for almost two years on Facebook, etc. I have only ever lived with my husband and one boyfriend, so living with someone else will also be an adventure, and you guys can laugh at me. Seriously, I KNOW I talk a lot, but this one? Already I wonder if she is ever going to stop talking!
She is on Tinder too, and we have VERY different dating styles, even if you take away the difference of the polyamory. I am so casual about it. I think dating is an adventure and I do not expect ANY relationship to become ANYTHING. If it does, cool! I am usually quite happy to jump in with both feet if/when I have the right chemistry. She jumps first, cries later. This will be interesting. She went on a date tonight and brought the guy home after.
On Tinder, I am still talking to Henry and have added a few others. No one stands out yet.
- One guy says his job is Erotic Massage. Dude what?
- Another demanded I give him my WhatsApp, no asking nicely. That would be a hard no.
- 86% of them are barely 5 feet tall, (I am almost 6!)
- One is 30 (below my usual comfort age level) but friendly enough, he likes to chat, but he travels and won’t even be in the city for a month. What’s the point?
- 3,000 of them are named Carlos!
I posted a story about the things I learned at Eroticon today.
Another work from home day. (Still, haven’t left the house.) There is a handsome man Camillo who has matched with me on Tinder. He has the potential to be someone I go out with soon. (I am hoping to have at least date before my BFF gets here on Sunday and it is more difficult to get out and meet men for a while.)
Then there is Carlos. (One of the 3,000!) He and I have been chatting, and he made it very clear that he is not looking for a girlfriend or a relationship, but that he simply wants a friend with benefits. I appreciated his approach because that’s unusual here. There is very little transparency in relationships and a lot of cheating or ghosting. I’ve been chatting with roomie about it, and she’s told me about a guy she knows who she went on a date with last year who also just wanted a casual relationship. Even though she is not interested in casual, she went out with him anyway. They had a passionate make-out session, but then he disappeared. He told her, “I don’t want to hurt you.” He show’s up in her texts every once in a while, flirting and sexting then disappears again.
Yes, I think you can tell where this is going. Same guy! She says she is ok with it. But she asks me regularly, ‘Did Carlos try to talk to you again? Did he bother to text?’ Why Yes, he did actually. She told him just to go pursue me and not worry about her, and she told me the same. But she also said she didn’t feel comfortable having him come here to our flat. He doesn’t want a relationship, she won’t sleep with him without one, he treats her like a play toy, but it’s obvious she has some feelings about this. He has been nothing but respectful and mature with me. I think we both respect that we have been open from the beginning about our expectations and desires. I even told him about polyamory, which was a bit bold in this context. We’ll see what happens.
Henry canceled and rescheduled our date for Friday. My friend Allistair always jokes that my actual completed date ratio is like 50/50. He could be right even here!
I posted part 3 of The Mission on the blog too for #FriFlash. But I don’t think anyone has read it yet!
Simple work at home day again. I am also getting a bunch of things done on the blogs. I have a list of items from Eroticon that I am trying to work my way through. I’m tired and a bit depressed- I think I need to settle in a bit. I hate feeling this way, but I also know I need to give myself time and grace to transition. My BFF coming on Sunday will help!
Today I went for a walk around the neighborhood to explore and maybe find a nail place. I only managed to be out for about 30 minutes, but it was the first time I left the house all week. (Except for dinner with my flatmate on Monday night.) This is a very local non-touristy area. I love all the little shops and restaurants. I am looking forward to more exploring as time goes on.
Still chatting with Camillo and Carlos and a few other guys have popped up on Tinder, but nothing special. These three guys seem nice, though no one has asked me out except Henry who canceled on me. I haven’t heard much from him either, so I have a feeling tomorrow is not going to happen either.
Tonight, I went out to dinner to an excellent Peruvian/Japanese restaurant with my roomie and then we went to a Digital Nomad social event. Another friend I know from previous trips was there, so it was nice to catch up with him. I met a few random people that my roomie knows too. I am terrible at these events. I hate the whole, “Hi, who are you? Why are you here in Medellin?” small talk thing… but I do like to meet new people generally, so I try to go to these events once in a while.
Friday: One thing people don’t realize is that health care here in Colombia (and Costa Rica and Thailand etc.) is VERY GOOD. One of the first things I did when I got here was to make a dentist appointment. It was so difficult to do in Berlin that I had given up. I am usually a cleaning every six months girl, but I haven’t had a cleaning now in almost two years. (I am ashamed to admit!!) So today, I went to the dentist, and I was so happy to have a cleaning. There are a couple of other things she has to do, and I have another appointment on Tuesday. It feels good to be taking care of myself that way.
Henry hasn’t been heard from since yesterday morning. Didn’t hear from him at all today either, and we were supposedly going out this afternoon after he finished work at 13:00. So there is another one checked off the list already! 🙂
Did some blogging too! You guys know you love to read about the Sex Scientist!
Tonight I went out for some wine and dinner with my friend Caro and one of her best gal pals- Girl’s night! We went to this Mercado where there are all kinds of food “stalls” and a few bars. People can pick where they want to eat and sit anywhere to drink and eat. They have a DJ and comedy on Friday nights. Being out and about was nice. I indulged in a few too many shots of aguardiente last night, so I am going slow with any alcohol tonight, but we had a lovely Argentinian Merlot that I like here and just had a unhurried relaxed time.
Once I got home, I curled up on the couch enjoying the silence. (Roomie went to a language exchange evening and on a date.) I watched Grey’s Anatomy on Hulu and chatted more with Carlos. We had a frank discussion about sexual health results and safer sex practices, and then we talked a bit about the things we both liked and were willing to do sexually. I feel like this is moving us closer to a meeting, but I am always reluctant to speak in detailed terms and cross over to dirty talk with someone I haven’t met yet. I am not interested in a sexting relationship. I want to meet people and connect in person. I don’t send sexy pics to men before I’ve met them either. Too risky. Plus there is the added layer here of cultural and language differences which means I am especially cautious about what I say and how I say it. Meeting in person is the only way I will feel comfortable to be more expressive in texts.
Lazy morning. Still not that motivated to go exploring. However, I do need a SIM card so I can have data and can connect to the world when I am outside of the flat. I will feel better if I can do that. Did some blogging and I even finished creating a “Sign up to subscribe to new posts” widget and email etc? So go ahead and do that while you are here!!
I interviewed for a poly podcast today! www.polyammering.blog, and that went great. The host seems like good people, and I enjoyed her style. We laughed so much and you will hear me being my usual goofy self. We talked about travel, solo poly, metamours, lessons learned and more! Check it out and tell your friends!
I did get out of the house and had a nice pizza dinner with my roommate and my friend. I’ve been missing pepperoni in Germany, so I was happy to put pepperoni and extra cheese pizza in my mouth! There is a popular area here called La Calle de Buena Mesa where there are a ton of restaurants and bars to pick from so we headed there.
After dinner, Camillo came over and hung out. My roomie’s amigo came over too. Camillo is as hot as his photos, and he was super sweet. I am thrilled that my Spanish is still good enough to keep up (and that he has some English when my Spanish isn’t.) We did end up making out and groping and grinding in my bedroom for a while. It was fun and hot, but at the same time, I am back in the land where No means, “push a little harder and she will change her mind,” instead of No. (I tweeted about this yesterday and have a post brewing with some thoughts.) He did bring some weed, and we chilled on the patio with that and my favorite red before we got busy!
Today roomie and I walked to the mall and just did some window shopping. I also finally got my SIM card. The poor young men helping me, they didn’t know what to do, me whipping my Spanish out at them a mile a minute, and making jokes about how this was the most fun they would have all day.
We ate lunch, did some grocery shopping and came back home to wait for my BFF to arrive. I was sooo happy when she got out of that cab!! Her face was pale from the “crazy driver” she had who brought her down the mountain to me! I just laughed, “Remember, you’re in South America now!”
The rest of the evening was spent side by side, catching up with the person who is most important to me in the whole world, my BFF, my better half, I often call her my life-partner. So looking forward to a month of hanging out. (Another blog post brewing!)
- 1 New city
- 1 Hot date – kissing and groping
- 1 Canceled date
- 7 Days Masturbation challenge #30days (Well- one day Camillo helped!)
- 3 Girls Night Outs
- 1 Podcast interview- Don’t forget to check it out www.polyammering.blog
- Already too much Aguardiente
- 6.1 miles walked (Def not enough! Need to up that number!)
- 2 Sunburns (at least I am even now)
- 1 BEST FRIEND
I think I expected this part of the transition to be more comfortable than it has been. I’d been out of Berlin for almost six weeks. I thought I was past the pain, sadness, and loneliness. Plus I love Medellin so much. But I guess I wasn’t. Maybe it’s because the past weeks have been travel not “settled” and now this is settled. Also, jet lag plays a factor. Either way, I was already feeling better by Saturday, and now that my BFF is here, I am sure it will keep getting better. We made plans to go to the beach this weekend so that will be a nice change of pace too! (And some awesome photos too!)
Check out the other amazing and sexy stories written for Wicked Wednesday!